Guest Post by Tammy Kabell, Founder and CEO of Career Resume Consulting, in Kansas City.
What makes you indispensable to an employer? So indispensable that he treats you as a valued partner and pays you well for a sustained period of time? The obvious answer is to have clearly demonstrable expertise in areas he values. This alone will open doors and may close employment deals for you.
It won’t ensure long-term loyalty, however.
People Hire People They Like, Over People That are More Qualified. No Exceptions.
To become truly indispensable requires a human connection that nurtures trust. Integral to this type of connection is Shared Identity, Shared Empathy and Shared Understanding.
Three Essential Elements for Connection:
Shared Identity results from a mutual commitment to a mission and/or set of values. If you have a passion for aircraft then working for a boss who shares that passion will help you connect with him. Likewise, if you value transparency and frequent communications then having an employer who shares those values will help you connect. Other things being equal, the more values you share, the greater the connection.
A second way people connect is through Shared Empathy. If you and your potential employer have similar interests and you experience similar emotions while discussing those interests together, it increases connection. For example, you may both get excited talking about college basketball or know what it’s like to have a family member battle cancer. Understanding what’s important in your future boss’ life will help you identify common ground topics that lead to connection.
Shared Understanding is the third way to connect on a personal level. Connection is increased when you ask questions of the decision maker in an interview, and carefully listen to her answers so that you understand her perspective. After you’ve taken time to understand her perspective and shared your response in a way that accounts for it, your connection will grow even stronger.
The field of contract law uses the term “a meeting of the minds” that captures the idea of Shared Understanding well. Developing a Shared Understanding requires listening carefully, probing continuously to clarify ambiguity and having the patience to persevere. More complex topics take a greater amount of time to reach a Shared Understanding than simple topics do. Dealing with people who are more open and naturally more trusting will also speed up the time required to reach a Shared Understanding.
Avoid This Trap:
There is an important trap to watch out for. Behavior that puts your interest ahead of your potential employer’s interest undermines connection. Even the perception of this will be damaging. That’s why it’s wise to carefully think through the benefits and potential objections the decision maker might have, then plan how you will clearly communicate to avoid even the appearance of self-interest.
When you bring an employer needed skills and steadily work to increase connection, you’ll become indispensable. And when you position yourself as an expert – the answer to their problems and the bridge to take them where they want to be – you become more than just the winning candidate. You become their trusted partner in business.